What do you think is one of the common, if not the greatest, mistake parents make in their relationship with their children? For me, it is when parents consider themselves to be old, mature, and experience, as if they already know everything in life. Technically, there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that, as parents, we have grown with the years in age, maturity, and experience. But to use this as unbending basis to be always right in debates or discussions with our children because we see them as still young, immature, and inexperienced is an entirely different story.
There are parents who, when they have visitors, harshly tell their children to go to their rooms or play outside because the topics are bound to be exclusive to adults (that is, in age). Have you ever thought about your children’s feelings? Doing this can make your children consciously and unconsciously feel rejected and get hurt every time. I’m sure that allowing your children within your circle of friendly discussion can also make them grow through observation and respectful participation.
Let me tell you, if you just listen, really listen carefully, to what your child has to say, you will be surprised and impressed by the wealth of wisdom behind his or her own experiences. This is my way of saying that you should not underestimate your children and what they can do. I discourage baby-talking them. Start treating them like adults and you will be amazed at how fast they can develop their original and latent skills, talent, and personality. Let me remind you that you have not yet seen the best of your children. What you are seeing now is just the tip of the iceberg. The key to good parenting is to give them utmost acceptance, respect, and trust. This is the true and real art of parenting.
Here is something that may provoke your thoughts and probably will change your ideas and perspective about the parent-child relationship. Your bodies and age may be old and your children’s bodies and age may be young, but their souls might be much older than yours. It is just a matter of time before their brains become fully developed and can absorb the power of their souls. This is why do not be surprised if one of these days you realize that they have become much smarter than you. Have you heard others–relatives, neighbors, friends–praise your children, wondering how they could think, act, and talk in a mature way.
What are your memorable experiences raising your children?